


Nostalgia

by saizoswifey



Category: Samurai Love Ballad: PARTY, 下統乱 Love Ballad | Samurai Love Ballad (Video Game), 天下統一恋の乱 | Sakura Amidst Chaos | Samurai Love Ballad (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, flufff, just fluffy fluff, route spoilers a bit so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 13:03:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13435287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saizoswifey/pseuds/saizoswifey
Summary: A bit of Young Mitsunari (Sakichi) and a glimpse as to how his past has had an effect on who he is when MC meets him. A reflection on our differing childhoods (and the hardships/alienation we may face) and the fact that despite our wounds, we can find someone who accepts and loves us for what we are.((I never know what to write for these damn things I’m sorry, hah!))





	Nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> Sakichi is Mitsunari's childhood name.
> 
> [I knew Mitsunari might be a challenge for me to write, because I feel he is sort of in-between Saizo and Ieyasu (my top two favs). Mitsunari lives a lot in his head, like Saizo, but is also very intelligent and poison-tongued, like Ieyasu. I don’t want to make him too mean, but I also don’t want to make him too reserved and awkward.  
> Anyway, this was a good challenge for me as a writer. And I enjoyed delving in to his past and sort of building a foundation for his character as I see him.  
> I hope you enjoy!! Thank you so much for reading! ^^]

_“Sakichi!”_

He was running through the field, the tall grass itching and cutting at his shins in his effort to catch up. It was a sunset like any other summer evening. The sky, as vibrant as a ripe persimmon, casting dynamic colors and adding brilliance to the sea of wildflowers that lay before him. Just above the grass he could see clusters of gnats forming, whirling and eddying around each other in the orange haze. It was the time of day the heat finally broke, giving way to delicious, cool pockets of air which seemed to burst into his skin at random as he ran. 

It was what they did; they boys in the village. While the girls played ohajiki indoors, the boys donned the sturdiest fallen branches they could find to pretend to be samurai. There was hardly anything he equated to summer more than the sound of wood against wood— _plunk, plunk_ —echoing among the heat, the grass and the trees. And the occasional cracking and splintering when a boys _‘sword’_ snapped under the stress. 

If they weren’t fighting each other, they were on the hunt for insects. Fireflies flickering in the twilight, crickets, or beetles. _The larger the better_. Most were kept as pets, much to their mothers’ dismay, he imagined. Small hands outstretched, dirty and cupped in order to preserve whatever writhing trophy they held within, eyes widening in their triumph. Sakichi always watched from afar, hidden behind a book and feeling a bit secluded— _detached_ —from these games the rest played. 

But not today. 

_Today, he was invited._

“Sakichi!” They called him again. 

They were gathered around a rotten log, prodding it with sticks, grins growing visible as he drew closer. 

“There’s got to be something good under here,” one large boy with a rather flat face mused. Sakichi recognized him, but wasn’t sure of his name. Same with most of the other boys gathered around. 

It must have been laying there for some time, the log. The underside, he noted as they rocked it back and forth, was damp and soft. It seemed it would fall apart or splinter the moment it was handled even a bit too roughly. And there was something about the earthy smell…almost pleasant to his senses.

“Sakichi should choose first!” Matsuki, Sakichi’s one, and only friend, declared to the other boys before they pushed it over. 

When the log was overturned there were several creatures crawling along the surface, just as they had predicted, desperate to return to safety or escape the area altogether. 

“ _Go on,_ ” one of the boys urged him. 

But Sakichi could only watch in horror. The needle-thin legs, the wet shine to some of their bodies as they scurried about over rocks and into the burrows of the deadened wood. It was all too… _otherworldly_. They moved without a purpose he could comprehend. 

Not wanting to seem a coward, Sakichi lied to them all. “These are tiny,” he spoke with haughty airs. “No one would want these puny things.” He did his best to keep his face flat and unimpressed, as if he had done this many times before and seen many a larger insect. 

“The fireflies are the best, anyway,” Matsuki spoke up in Sakichi’s favor. 

The boys nodded in agreement at Matsuki’s words. He was likable and friendly, unlike Sakichi. He smiled often and people found it hard to speak ill of someone like that. Someone who went out of their way to speak to you; lend you a hand or offer you a bit of their sweets, never expecting anything in return.

As the horizon swallowed the sun the boys began to capture those familiar flashing lights into their containers. 

Sakichi paid no mind to the rest running around him, or their bragging cries as they raced through the field at lightning speed, chasing the faint yellow flickering. There was an unspoken competition among them to catch the most. It confused Sakichi as to why they would care about a trivial thing such as this, and he thought perhaps he was just too mature for his age (as he had been often told before, especially by his mother), but he also desperately desired to fit in. He didn’t want to disappoint Matsuki. So despite himself, he went along with it all. 

He found them easy enough to focus on. While the other boys ran around hectically, Sakichi stayed in place— _observing_ and waiting. One by one he would follow their movements and trace their patterns with his eyes, cutting off their path in order to capture them effectively. They buzzed around, _often slowly_ , and it wasn’t long before the container underneath his palm became filled with a vibrant and brilliant flashing of light.

“Hey,” the flat-faced boy stood in front of Sakichi, “give me those.” 

“What are you talking about?” Sakichi asked. 

“You’re greedy,” he spat, the tone in his voice clearly looking for a fight, “look at how many you have!”

“ _Hirohiko!_ ” Matsuki ran up protectively, only to be pushed aside. 

“I caught them!” Sakichi declared while watching his only friend stumble into the dirt, his anger rising. “It’s your own fault if you’re too clumsy and dim-witted to do it yourself.” He smiled daringly, despite himself. A contemptuous smile that would get him in trouble for many years to come. 

This only served to infuriate Hirohiko more, and his large hands grabbed at the container Sakichi harbored his fireflies in. 

“They’re mine!” Sakichi struggled against the force of the larger boy, desperate to hold on to what he had gained for himself. “Let go you pig-faced… _dolt!_ ” 

Everyone gathered to watch them, now. Yet no one helped him. 

_Why was no one helping him?_

And Sakichi continued to battle Hirohiko for the jar, their grapple taking to the dirt as they rolled around desperately trying to gain control over the other. 

Sakichi was not a fighter yet. 

He was weak and unpracticed against opponents larger than himself—opponents at all, and when Hirohiko took to blows across Sakichi’s face and chest, he felt his hands let go in defeat. 

He wasn’t sure how long the fight had lasted or even how far they had rolled. It happened so quickly, yet slowly enough that each action felt suspended in time. 

Hirohiko stood above him, breath heavy and eyes full of malice. In his hands the glowing spoils of his victory. 

“Maybe if you had a _father_ , you’d know how to fight,” Hirohiko taunted through pants. “But…no one would want a freak like you for a son…or a wife like your crazy mother.” He spat in the field next to Sakichi before leaving.

_That stung worse than the punches._

Some of the boys followed him, and the ones that hadn’t now peered over the tall grass to look at Sakichi on his back in the dirt. 

In all of his shame and embarrassment he wanted to roll over, hide from their prying eyes. Emotions caught in his throat, Sakichi lay there looking up at the night sky and the fireflies flitting about their heads. His chest quaked, as if he was harboring and suppressing a turbulent river of emotion. He stood up with shaking fists, brushed himself off. 

“Sakichi…” Matsuki reached for him only to have his hand slapped away in anger. 

“ _Cowards!_ ” he yelled, eyes clinched to hold in his tears. He could feel the tension rising in his lungs. 

Despite the venom in his words and the angry way his face was pulling and twisting together into a mighty scowl, the wet heat of tears was unmistakable in his eyes. The scorching hurt deep in his pounding heart, building up to overflow from his throat. This deep pain was threatening to explode out of him. 

_He would never fit in._

“You’re all cowards!” Sakichi tried his best to yell it without crying. Only as he ran away from the group and back to his home did he let the outflow of sobs from his chest. 

_He was not invited again…_

 

The blood would upset his mother so he did his best to try and hide it. After gathering a bit of water from the well, he snuck around the outside of the house to the back entrance where he hoped he would avoid her. It was late enough that she should be in bed. She was always in bed, lately, he thought. In the quiet evening light he dipped the cloth in the small bucket and dabbed at his face, shoulders relaxing at the sensation of cool water against his throbbing skin.

But she saw. _Mother’s always saw_. 

“Is that you?” With dainty steps his mother drew herself to him from the depths of the room. She pulled him against her with tender hands and pressed the cloth to his swollen lip in a caring way. This alone made his chest feel lighter. 

“Always so careless…” She clicked her tongue. “Did you trip in your sandals again, Saki? Shall I purchase a new pair for you?” 

“ _Chi,_ mother. Saki _chi_ …remember?” His already fragile disposition now completely shattered. 

Sakichi’s eyes were glassy from crying as he looked up to correct her, emphasis on the last of his name. A piece she often forgot, more with each passing day. He feared it. And that far away look that carried her to the only place she felt safe, leaving Sakichi behind in the wake of her torment.

She clutched his kimono, held him tighter to her chest and stroked his hair as only a mother could. “We must be more careful…Saki… _it is a dangerous time for women.”_

Sakichi cried. This time it was not because of the pain in his face, only the harsh realization that he was slowly losing his mother. And when that happened…he would be truly and utterly— _alone_. 

 

 

_____________

 

 

The sound of light rapping at the door woke Mitsunari, and he found he had fallen asleep at his writing desk. 

“Tea,” a familiar voice called from the veranda. 

_Manju girl._

He ran quick fingers through his hair, straightened his collar and refocused on the maps and books in front of him. 

“Well, are you going to bring the tea or just stand outside my door all day,” Mitsunari replied. 

“Excuse me,” she said upon entering. “I know you’re very busy, but I thought you could use a snack.”

“It’s fine. I was just finishing up my reading, as it were.” 

What Mitsunari did not know, was that she had knocked just a few moments prior to his waking. Worried when there was no response, she had let herself in only to find him face down in one of his precious books, light sounds of slumber filling the room. Knowing he would be more than upset if she approached him herself, she smiled with fondness and returned to the veranda, making sure to knock a bit louder this time. 

“I brought you some manju as well,” she placed the tray next to a rather high pile of varying texts. Some of the spines were frayed and weak while others looked as if they had just been bound that morning. The smell was more than comforting, hitting you immediately when you entered. She liked it best in the evenings, when it mixed with the scent of his oil lamps. 

“I have eyes enough to see for myself,” he replied dryly. But still, he didn’t hesitate to pick one up and begin to eat. 

This was enough to please her. She poured the tea. 

“Mitsunari, you’ve been working so hard lately. Will you be too tired to go this evening?” 

He scowled. “It should go without saying, nothing in this life could keep me from fulfilling one of Hideyoshi’s requests.” 

Paying no mind to his vitriol, she pressed on. “Speaking of, Hideyoshi said they started to release fireflies in the garden for viewing! I remember several inns and restaurants back in Kyoto had done the same…” 

Of course, he knew this. But he let her prattle on in her excitement, which even he thought was uncharacteristic for himself. 

_The damned fireflies._

Was that why he had that dream? It must be. 

It was then that Mitsunari noticed her gawking, a quivering smile forming on her lips. 

“And just what is so amusing? Out with it!” 

Seeing his full face for the first time, she noticed two large red marks from where his sleeping head lay in his book. His angry disposition only served to make it all the more comical, and despite the fact that she couldn’t bring herself to admit _why_ she was laughing (he _had_ lied about falling asleep, after all) she laughed all the same. 

“What a whimsical life it must be, to have a head so full of clay you could laugh at nothing.”

His retort was laced with all of the usual venoms, hidden behind his classic smile. But still, the reddened indentations remained. And from his room, she was sure someone in the halls could hear her giggling. 

 

_____________

 

 

“When will you cease nipping at Hideyoshi’s heels, mongrel?” Mitsunari mocked. 

“The hell did you just say to me?” Inuchiyo was on the defensive in an instant. 

A few villagers within earshot had turned towards the commotion. 

“ _I invited you all_ ,” Hideyoshi reminded them, wedging himself between the group with eyes cast aside in exasperated embarrassment. 

That was all either of them needed to cease their bickering for some time, though it didn’t stop their silent scowling at each other from afar as they continued down the street. 

There was such a calm yet claustrophobic atmosphere to the village during the afternoon and into the evening. Shop owners were selling the last of their inventory. Old women as well as a few men just returning home were at counters vying for the last bit of fish or sweets they had left. While in turn, the red light district was just beginning to buzz, drawing a whole new swarm from the shadows. 

He kept watch of her while they weaved through the clusters of people. He reached… _instinctively_ and despite himself he reached for her to make sure she could keep up, ready to snap at her for dawdling with wide eyes and gaping mouth. He was going to tell her she looked just like an empty-headed fish, gazing up from the water in awe of the vast world above. But Inuchiyo had beaten him by a few steps. The mutt’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her closer, and Mitsunari was very unsure as to why or how he could be so upset over this act. But he felt a strange pain nonetheless, and he let his hand dropped to his side in silence. 

She looked different from usual. Her hair was done in a more elegant fashion. He could appreciate the care- _albeit clumsy_ -way she had applied her rouge and face powders. More than any man here, he could appreciate it. And the way her pink kimono played off her rose-dusted cheeks. 

Inuchiyo had stopped their stride, pulling her over to a shop with a smile. “This hairpin reminds me of that one you used to wear.”

‘ _That one’…Which one?_ Mitsunari thought. 

“I can’t believe you remember that!” She laughed, and Inuchiyo smiled back at her. 

_What, exactly, was so amusing?_ His eyes narrowed in annoyance. 

Mitsunari watched from the road with a souring expression…unaware that all the while, Hideyoshi- _who never missed a thing, perceptive as he was_ -had been watching _him_ with a sly and knowing smile. 

 

_____________

 

 

The room was decorated modestly. It was far from lavish, with a low ceiling, but it was clean. The shojis facing the garden all remained open, allowing the coolness of the evening to waft in at it’s leisure. 

As the sun sank into the horizon, they released their fireflies. Some tables even had glass jars filled with them, for decorative lighting. 

Mitsunari scoffed internally at the notion. _Spending on bugs?_ But as he looked around, almost every table had been filled. Logic would dictate that despite what they paid the merchants for the… _bugs_ …they could turn quite a profit here from such moronic things, as he had predicted.

_‘Nostalgic’_ he heard her muse under her breath, and he turned to watch her in her excitement. His disdain softened the more he studied her gaze. 

As the meal began the owners prostrated themselves before the table. They personally helped carry platters of Miso and broiled fish, ochazuke, seasonal dishes, pickled vegetables and absolutely anything they could make in apparent hopes of pleasing Hideyoshi. A beautiful, intricately hand painted and lacquered sake flask was placed with care in the middle of the table, along with fine matching cups for each of them. It did not fit with the rest of the pottery presented, so she thought that it surely must be the families most valuable, personal set. The thought warmed her heart. 

“Please,” Hideyoshi smiled brightly to the owners, who had lowered their heads before him, “this is quite unnecessary.” 

After it was poured for him, he sipped the sake from the sakazuki. At once, his eyes widened in pleasure with a delighted hum at the complex taste. The response pleased the couple, and they smiled briefly to one another after seeing Hideyoshi’s satisfaction. 

“You spared our son when you had no reason to,” the man replied in haste. 

“And helped our business…” the wife glanced at Mitsunari before casting her eyes over the bustling crowds gathered at the tables of the Inn. 

“Well, then…if you insist, could I trouble you for some more of this delicious sake?” Hideyoshi asked, smiling all the brighter in hopes he could lighten the mood for them all. 

“Yes! Of course!” They hurried back to fetch more for the table. 

“What did they mean?” She asked Hideyoshi, “about their son?” 

“Well…” Hideyoshi looked away briefly in discomfort. “I don’t think now is the time to discuss such things.”

“We caught him stealing,” Inuchiyo interjected with a mouthful of food. It seemed he had already drank his full cup and was now pouring more for himself. 

“You loud-mouthed idiot!” Hideyoshi glanced around to be sure no one heard, wanting to give Inuchiyo a good smack against his head. He was an honorable man, but god help him if he didn’t blurt out every thought that bounced around in that damned head of his. 

“Can’t keep a brainless dog from barking,” Mitsunari replied in annoyance. 

Inuchiyo glared out from his cup. He’d have said more, if it wasn’t for her presence. 

“Stealing?” She asked. 

“Rice…mostly food,” Hideyoshi replied. He leaned in a bit over the table so he could whisper. “Business had not been doing so well here, lately. _Desperate times_.” Hideyoshi looked a bit sad. 

“But it’s so busy,” she mused. 

“Ha, ha! I’m happy to admit that that is the work of our dear Mitsunari, here!” Hideyoshi slapped his back heartily. 

“Really?” She gasped, looking up at Mitsunari’s face in curious wonder. 

“I did no such thing,” Mitsunari protested with pressed brows, but there was an inkling of heat rising to his cheeks.

“Sure you did! In fact,” Hideyoshi smiled and gestured to the flickering lights in the garden, “the fireflies were his idea. He had mentioned how successful other businesses have been after introducing this experience. No one in the area has done this yet, you know. As you can see, it’s working. I can’t say I’m surprised, however. He _is_ a genius,” Hideyoshi praised. 

She felt a bit more than embarrassed after hearing this, thinking back on her prattling over Kyoto and fireflies, thinking he was unaware. He hadn’t said a word to her, then…

“You told them about this?” She asked Mitsunari. 

He was going to reply. _He was_. Was he going to say anything positive? No. Most likely, not. But he _was_ going to say something to her. That was, before Inuchiyo stepped in once again. 

“A bit nostalgic, isn’t it?” Inuchiyo asked her. 

_That’s what she mumbled earlier_ , Mitsunari recalled. There was that strange creeping feeling in his chest again. Another emotion he couldn’t quite understand in it’s complexity. But he knew he was upset. 

“Mmn,” she hummed in response while sipping a bit from her sake cup. “It is!” 

“Remember how you used to cry when you couldn’t catch any,” Inuchiyo laughed at the memory, drawing a displeased frown from her face. 

“I did not!” She protested in embarrassment. 

“Ha! You did, too! And then you would beg me to help you,” Inuchiyo smirked. 

_Was he moving closer to her?_

“Swallow before you speak, you disgusting ingrate,” Mitsunari interjected, eyes piercing through Inuchiyo. 

“You got a problem?” Inuchiyo spoke in a challenging tone. 

“Children, children. Settle down or I’ll have to separate you,” Hideyoshi warned. “Have some of this delicious sake!”

“ _If there’s any left_ ,” Mitsunari huffed. 

Inuchiyo ignored it, pouring the contents of his cup down his throat. 

She laughed. “Here, I’ll pour some for you.”

“Hey. I need some more, too.” 

“I’d like some as well, if you don’t mind.” 

Hideyoshi and Inuchiyo held their empty cups out for her. 

They drank and ate until little remained but empty bowls. People had begun to retreat to their rooms or walk together in the garden. When Inuchiyo started swaying, eyes closing and cheeks flushed, Hideyoshi stood up from the table. 

“Alright, I think we’ve had enough.” He grabbed hold of Inuchiyo and hoisted him to his feet. “Mitsunari, make sure she gets to her room safely, alright?” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

There was an awkward silence when they were left alone. 

She was the first to speak. “I was going to have some tea on the veranda.” 

“Alright.” 

She brought two cups and a plate of manju. Not knowing what to say, he immediately stuffed one in his mouth. 

“Are they good?” She asked. 

“I’ve had better…” 

‘ _You jackass,’_ he yelled at himself in his mind _._ Why couldn’t he just say he preferred hers? Angry with himself, Mitsunari looked away. At least if she saw his face he could blame his blush on the sake. 

“I just love fireflies,” she sighed. 

“I’m well aware. You and the dog wouldn’t stop blathering on about them, or your precious nostalgia.” He hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but there was no stopping once the words came tumbling out. 

“Mitsunari, did you catch fireflies as a child?” 

There was a twinge in his chest. An invisible knife being twisted and then it was gone,the pain washed away. _Suppressed_. 

“Do I look like the kind of empty headed half-wit who would enjoy such a vacuous task?” 

“I see…”

She left him there on the veranda and headed out into the dark garden. He watched her, outlined in moonlight and smiling like a fool. Her arms then outstretched, pulling her delicate hands from the sleeves of her kimono. From where he watched it looked as if she might pluck a star from the sky above.

“ _Aha!_ ” she grinned with cupped hands. “Mitsunari! Come here,” she called. 

Hesitantly he approached her. Unsure of what to do, he stood awkwardly and regarded how beautiful she looked with the twinkling lights surrounding her. 

“Hold out your hands, silly” she giggled. 

It was a laugh as delicate as spun sugar, but thrice as sweet. He did as she asked and held his palms upwards between them. 

“Here… _for you._ ” 

A single glowing light was placed. And her warm, soft hands cupped and covered his own. They both looked down to watch the mysterious glow fade in and out from between their fingers. 

Slowly his eyes wandered up to her face and he regarded her enchanted gaze. Watched the light illuminate and cast shadows on her features. 

He moved without thinking, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. It must have shocked her as well, the fact that he did this, for Mitsunari felt her stiffen with shock. And why wouldn’t it? He himself didn’t quite understand his actions, only that he needed to do it. The next moment she moved closer in acceptance, and a pleasant warmth was spilling and bubbling in a curious way. 

“Thank you.” He smiled. 


End file.
